Look at me, I’m barely a month into being half a century old and I am already dispensing wit and wisdom. I probably missed some really important things like Avoid participating in riots on the Capitol and It’s ok to floss and shave in the shower, but if you really are going to take nissue with any of the below, well make your damn list once you’re fifty.
1. The best gift you can give someone is your undivided attention. Be here now.
2. Asking for help is a power move. Most good things that have happened to me, happened because I asked.
3. Friendships and relationships take work and a lot of attention, and even then we sometimes go our separate ways. On occasion, the good ones come back into your orbit in surprising and evolving ways. You might even end up marrying your former intern from twenty years ago.
4. You end up being the average of the people you spend your life hanging around with. You do not need a lot of friends, just the right ones.
5. I consider myself a romantic, but picked up most of what I know from Phil Collins, Billy Joel, and Huey Lewis.
6. I liked high school and had a blast in college. But very little of my education happened in class.
7. My kid has already taught me more in 14 years than all that formal education combined. I am eager to keep on learning from this wise, young soul.
8. I wish I admitted when I was wrong more. I think if we all made ‘humor’ our default reaction, we’d all get along better.
9. No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.
10. Don’t Worry, Be Happy. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t keep comparing yourself to other people. Focus on the things you can control.
11. Don’t Look Back In Anger. Holding onto hate affects you more than anyone else, and worst of all it’s letting “them” get the better of you.
12. Being on time matters. My ex-wife’s wedding present from me was a watch with the inscription, “A punctual wife makes a happy husband.” We are no longer married.
13. Knowing who you are not is almost as important as knowing who you are.
14. We have too many options these days. I asked some friends and people in my life to send me their Top 10 albums of all time. I compiled them into a printed book, and it’s a great “record” of perfection by way of limitation.
15. Not everything has to have meaning. Pressure Drop has been the most played song on my Spotify for 2 years running. I didn’t even know what it was about until 2 months ago.
16. One of my college thesis professors told me to pick a topic that I absolutely loved because at some point “you’re gonna hate it, and that love is what keeps you going.”
17. I will probably be most remembered for my work at Yelp, but I’d rather be known for my career as Dad.
18. There is nothing wrong with trying to retire by 50. “I should have worked more,” said no one on their deathbed. But retiring doesn’t mean not having a plan.
19. I am at the perfect age for a career in pickleball or shuffleboard.
20. You practice and you get better, it is pretty simple.
21. “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.” This is very hard for me to do because: cheeseburger. No one’s last meal should be a salad.
22. My family is lucky to be able to eat good food. But every meal should feel like a celebration or at least a happy ritual, even if it’s just you, a slice of pizza, and a good book.
23. Get to know your bartenders by name. Talk to the table next to you. Get to know your local shopkeepers. Smile at passersby. You’ll be a regular in no time. None of that happens if you are on your phone.
24. No one should want to live in a metaverse.
25. I am proud to say I have not invested in cryptocurrencies.
26. Life was better without cell phones. But if the house is on fire, it’s probably the first thing we’d grab.
27. A plug for consumerism: At their best, brands are extensions of our personalities. Buying something can make us feel good, even if it’s just for a little while. If something can make you feel like a badass, that’s even better.
28. There is nothing wrong with collecting Legos or Star Wars figures after the age of twelve. Or fifty.
29. Martinis should only be served with gin. Invest in nice wine glasses. Cigars are necessary on occasion, cigarettes never are.
30. Wearing a watch is a statement about being deliberate. Just because you can cook a steak in a microwave doesn’t mean you shouldn’t own a grill.
31. You need at least one great mentor in your life. Really good biographies work as substitutes along the way.
32. Having books around, whether I read them or not, gives me a sense of knowing the right things without having to care about everything. We are all made up of stories.
33. When you’re having trouble making a decision or questioning how to treat another person, imagine how it would appear in a novel or screenplay. Would you like that version of yourself?
34. You don’t have to remember anything if you tell the truth.
35. I’m lucky that my relationship with my parents has grown with age. Supposedly Samuel Clemens once quipped, “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
36. Your legacy is the memories you leave behind. Try to live in a way that you will look forward to looking back.
37. My parents are still my heroes. My dad was my best man at my first wedding. My mom has taught me to believe.
38. I don’t necessarily believe in God, but I do believe in miracles. They happen all the time if you let them.
39. Never be so situated in your own way that you are unwilling to be surprised.
40. How did I live over 45 years without having a dog?
41. Do random things that make you happy. Just this year, I entered our dog in Berkeley Humane Society’s annual rescue animal story competition, one of my photos was selected to be in a juried exhibit at the Image Flow Photography Center, and some of my favorite U2 songs were played on Sirius XM with me introducing them.
42. Everyone has got at least one bestseller in their life. The trick is to know how to find the right parts.
43. I lost a first cousin to Covid last year. I don’t think that’s where his story was supposed to end.
44. That same year, I also got married, left San Francisco for the small-town majesty of Marin, got selected to join our town’s art commission, and interviewed 52 people for a passion project about life and how to live it.
45. Some of my brightest moments have come from the shadows. The best lessons can be a matter of interpretation.
46. Sometimes You Can’t Make It On Your Own. Find a Jane.
47. Always follow up. Reply to people. Be available. Go out of your way to stay connected. Show up.
48. No one has figured it all out. We are all just winging it and doing what we hope is the right thing, most of the time.
49. I am glad that you are alive. Don’t Give Up.
50. It’s never too late, just later than it was.
